Doesn't it feel good to pay less?

No matter how hard I try, I never retreat on the holiday spending. Even in such years as this one, where I don't have a girlfriend to focus my chi and checking account on, I still find a way to give myself a migraine by Dec. 23 when I'm done shopping and say "Did I honestly just spend all that money?" Of course, all that frantic evaluating and when it comes down to the exchange, you don't have a care in the world and everyone enjoys themselves. I guess my question lies there in, why do we have to spend so much money? Is it possible to have a nice Christmas anymore without spending money?

I don't know a single person that doesn't feel overextended or even annoyed at how they had to get someone an ipod nano on Black Friday because someplace gave you free gift wrapping with it... or maybe wait in the Build-a-Bear line for 2 hours and spend a cool hundred bucks because their bear needed Juicy Couture booty sweatpants. I guess I've noticed how my Christmas shares the same foundation as my childhood one, focused on giving and getting gifts for people so you can see them smile and give you a hearty hug to finialize how much love is shared between the parties involved. I believe though that some people never get over that child's mindset of how you make a list of gifts that you want, without substitutes and if they aren't delivered under the tree before the stroke of midnight on Dec. 24th, the procedure of disappointment, pouting and disownment kick in.

I think that there is a very distinguished line between wanting to GIVE expensive, lavish gifts and EXPECTING rediculous things. I don't know where that turnover comes into play exactly. I mean, for most sensable people they usually reach adulthood and realize that your list of Transformers, Barbies, Red Rider beebee guns turns into work clothes, gift cards or ...well, I guess an ipod. This ramble really just started after my co-worker told me she heard some woman bitching out her man yesterday, saying that she wanted not just the $700 Louis Vutton bag, but also the matching boots and the belt... but if it doesn't have the $75 complimenting belt buckle, then forget it. He can sleep on the sofa till 2020.

I can't really tell if its just the cost of living and where I live by NYC, or if it's just people living on the account that the ones with the most toys win. All I know is that I really could go every Christmas from here on out without spending my money on anything but friends meeting at dinner, going out to the bar on my days off to catch up and getting the following days to sleep in. To each their own, but I think that's why the joke goes "the holidays bring out the best and worst in people."

I'm a firm advocate that if you don't know what to get someone, or they never seem to give you any suggestions, just pay for a night out. I mean ACTUALLY go out and pay for an evening with dinner, a game, a show, a movie... not the gift card route where you think you get off the hook and the receptee can use them for whenever. I promise if you give your time, initiative, attention and priority... enjoy the occasion and then let the bill be the last of your worries, you'll have a memory, not a boxed-up talking bass that sings "Rollin on the river".

Taylor made.

Well, with the conclusion of today's Sunday football games, there was 14 moments of silence and a memorial defensive play that only featured 10 players to honor the death of former Redskins' safety Sean Taylor this past week. Taylor, 24, was gunned down in his home during an attempted burglary. Unless you don't follow sports, current events, or sunlight doesn't reach under your rock, you have probably heard about this because of the nature and publicity the crime received. Surviving his death were his fiance' and 18-month old daughter, who resided with Taylor in his Miami-suburb home.
Now that your caught up to speed, there has been a lot of talk from so many angles as to how and why Taylor died or if it could have ever been avoided. Taylor, who was black and raised in the Miami area, also was the son of a local police officer. With a middle-class upbringing, and law enforcement father, Taylor still had a pretty awful rap sheet that included an armed assault arrest in 2005. Taylor was supposedly involved in a crime that included a stolen SUV, sprayed with bullets in Miami.
So far, your probably thinking this guy is another black thug, who plays a pro sport, makes millions and had a non-surprising death. But two of my favorite sportswriters did pieces this past week on Taylor's death; Jason Whitlock of the Kansas City Star and Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post. Both black, both highly respected, award-winning journalists touched on the subject that it's not white-on-black crime people have to fear anymore... but black-on-black that is the 800lbs. gorilla in the room. Whitlock's article talks of the "black KKK." Wilbon's piece is titled "Dying Young, Black." I suggest you read both to gain some perspective why I'm writing this blog.
I'm as much a sports fan as anyone, but there is so much that these athletes deal with that is magnified because of the limelight, pressure and worst of all, money that comes into their lives. But it's any pro athlete's responsibility to know that if you have family and a life that you wish to protect... you have to do everything within your power and resources to do so. That means maybe not living near the same hood or rough neighborhood that you grew up near. Yes, he has the liberty to do so, but your name or money is never going to keep people at bay that have nothing to lose, like burglers or robbers or even murderers. If you look at black icons like Jay-Z or 50 Cent... they had come from very low-income, poor projects within NYC to lead music and pop culture into this century. But you ask them if they would have still lived in Bedford-Stuyvestant, Brooklyn or South Jamaica, Queens with their new found fame and money, I don't think they would have had to think twice about it. They got the fuck out.
I'm agreeing with Wilbon and Whitlock that being black, young, famous and desirable in America is not only a lifestyle many seek, but often times hard to be. At least it seems that way from where I'm sitting. As a father, future husband, provider and role model, he owes it to himself and other people to be as much of a noble professional as possible, representing black people in the best of his ability.
But the tragedy of Sean Taylor isn't going to be the first or the last of its kind. That means there's still lessons to be learned.

Sean Taylor 1983-2007